If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
