he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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