My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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