What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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