Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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