I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
