I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
