He disabled his match.com account in front of me
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Randomize
