It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
if only i could text you this smell
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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