So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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