another moral hangover. fuck.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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