What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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