People with herpes should wear stickers.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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