no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I just want to make out with him forever
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Everclear isn't food dammit
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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