I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
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Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
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She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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