I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
