I'm sorry my penis didn't work
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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