I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
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They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
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I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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