Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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