On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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