I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
