it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
