its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
