What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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