Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize
