are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
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