the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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