shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
