Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
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