i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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