I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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