My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
home. puking in laundry basket.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
