just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
My dick has a subreddit
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
