Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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