I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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