I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
