So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
