she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Are we still banned from the library?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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