Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
