Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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