shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
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She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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