I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
