So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize