She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
