Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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