She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize