Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
