Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
