yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize