So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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