i barfeds in our rink
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
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So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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