he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
