sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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