If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
