i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
