I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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