ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
