awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
