Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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