You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
