Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
