my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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