blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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