i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
