Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
He? As in you personified your dick?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
