Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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