Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
cat food counts as protein by the way
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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