What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i used baking grease as lip gloss
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
