I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
