I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
